Do not fear change

Change is something we all fear. If something changes, we are afraid we will lose a part of something that once was.

Change is OK. The world is continually evolving. We evolved from living in caves being hunter gathers, to the great metropolis of modern society. We grow from babies, into children, then into adults. Each stage is a journey adding to who we are.

Look at a river. If you stay in one spot, a river is constantly changing. The landscape changes from season to season. A flood happens, and the area can change drastically in an instant. It took millions of years for the Grand Canyon to be formed. Whereas if we follow the water in a river, the vegetation and climate changes every so often.

After listening to Dr. Brene Brown on Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations, I had my own “ah ha” moment. It is not that we fear change itself. Deep down inside, we fear shame. We fear not only failure, but also success. We have an underlying need to appease those around us.

My youngest daughter keeps telling me she simply wants to make people happy. I believe it is difficult to understand how to make someone else happy unless we truly understand how to make ourselves happy.

I feel a compelling urge to share my story. Even if it only for myself to reflect upon at a later date. For those closest to me, if you think this is about you, then move beyond it and get over yourself. I am grateful for who I was. I am grateful for who I will become. And I am grateful for who I am right now.

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Living the dream

I recently read an article regarding self-esteem of business professionals. This certainly hits home. 

My husband and I own a business. Being an entrepreneur has certainly come with it’s own set of challenges. One challenge is being a self-motivator. As an entrepreneur, you do not always have people around to remind you of the great job you’re doing. There can be times when you are working long hours alone. Sometimes, the people we expect to be our greatest cheerleaders are not. It is very humbling when a cheerleader appears out of the blue from the people you least expect.

Being an entrepreneur can certainly be an emotional roller coaster. During the low times, it is important to keep trudging one step in front of the other. 

As hard as it may be, you sometimes need to be your own cheerleader. You also need to be accepting of those unexpected cheerleaders.

Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long.

We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

– Walt Disney

https://bodymindinstitute.com/the-impact-of-lacking-self-esteem-on-business-professionals/

Frogs, Worms & Mud Pies

I was inspired by an article from theatlantic.com called The Overprotected Kid. It got me thinking about my own childhood, and how I am now raising my own kids.

Looking back on my own childhood it consisted of playing outside a lot, whether it be with my sister, friends, or other kids in the neighbourhood. We would go to the park around the corner from our house by ourselves. As we got a bit older, we even ventured to the neighbourhood convenience store for the occassional slurpy and treat by ourselves. If the weather wasn’t nice, we’d play in our play room in our basement, playing house, school, etc.

At school, I can remember playing with my friends in one of the sandpits in the school yard. We carved out our “houses” and collected lids off tin cans and other little pieces of garbage from a near by alley way to be our plates and decorations. My husband and I were recently at the park with our own daughters, when I observed similar behaviour of playing with the garbage on the playground. My oldest found an empty fruit cup container and was filling it with gravel pretending it was cat nip for Puss N’Boots, played by my youngest daughter.

Before we moved out of the city, I can recall one of our neighbours who had a couple of boys. She would sit outside in her lawn chair reading a book while her kids rode their bikes up and down the sidewalk on our block. What happened to the days of letting the kids out to play on their own.

For the past couple of years, I have let our girls play outside on their own. My only rules are, they have to stay on the sidewalk, and they can’t leave our block. They have also spent countless hours playing in the back yard on their own.

I have found a stranded toddler stuck on the swing set ladder she tried to climb to do the monkey bars by herself. I’ve found another child heaped on the sidewalk as she had tried to ride her bike down 2 steps to the sidewalk. Am I a bad parent? Some might think so. I’d rather think I was helping to build character. Why not let the kids explore and learn for themselves what the consequences are?

Last weekend we let the kids have free range of our upstairs with some friends, while us adults were working in the basement. At one point, I had gone upstairs to find them working on crafts. They were making taborines with some paper plates they found and they wanted macaroni to put into them to make them noisy. They had also helped themselves to cookies left sitting out on the counter, and had poured themselves juice. Was I mad? No, at least they were playing nicely together.

Kids should be allowed a certain level of autonomy. Let them play!

The Attitude of Gratitude

American Thanksgiving has recently passed, although we should make sure we are grateful everyday, and not just one day a year. This week there have been serveral things I have been grateful for. We had a big snow storm roll through the prairies this week and with it the temperatures plumetted. I was grateful for a snow day, as my car (which I nicknamed Santa’s sleigh) was in the shop. We braved the weather and picked it up in time to have for our winter driving.

I was also grateful to have the majority of our basement insulation finished, and also grateful for our furnace. There are still many people in our community who are without at least insulation, and a few still without furnaces. I am also grateful to be in my own home.

Whenever I have felt like I’ve been dipping into a downward spiral I start going through a gratitude list. Even if it only one small thing I can think of, it can often times turn a bad day into a good day. A good friend of mine was really struggling this week and was heading deeper into that spiral. I told her to think of at least one little thing to be grateful for. Even if it is something silly one of her kids did. And it helps.

Too often we forget to be grateful for the simple things. Even being grateful for being alive. We are where we need to be in each moment of time.

Thank  you for following my blog.

Unless…

I was reminded lateley of one of my favorite quotes from the Lorax.

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
In the aftermath of the flood, so many people have been trying to point the finger as to who was to blame. Who is to blame them when a town worker states that yes one of the communities was sacrificed in order to drain some of the other communities faster. Everyone is looking for answers, and everyone is looking for funding so they can start to rebuild their lives. Some people are covered by insurance or disaster recovery, while others are not.
 
I believe it is up to ourselves to stand up for what we believe in. As well, while we are waiting, it is best to do what you can for your family. It is important to stay on top of everything so any applications don’t fall through the cracks. It is important to ask questions, even if the answer is no. So many people have a deep fear of rejection that they are afraid to ask any questions. They are afraid of confrontation.
 
If  your home has contanimated land, why not pick up a shovel and start removing it yourself. Yes it may take awhile, yet anything can be accomplished in baby steps. Now it may not be as easy as it sounds, and many people do not have a lot of disposable income, especially after this disaster to start fixing everything on their own. Yet at the same time, we should not sit and wallow in self-pity, as that solves nothing. Be proactive and start looking for solutions.

Hard Knox

“I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain’t never gonna keep me down…” – Tubthumping, Chumbawamba

Sometimes you need to take a hard knox approach to life. If life knocks you down, you need to get back up and start living again.

To take a more zen like, compassionate approach to life, if someone does you wrong, you need to bite your tongue and move on.

Stop dwelling on what cannot be unchanged. Stop holding a grudge. Be grateful for the little bit of help you do receive, even if you have to re-do the work to your standards.

Move on, move on, move on!

“Don’t look back, you’re life is not going that way!”

Humble pie (or should I say Pulled Pork Sliders)

Earlier this year my husband opened a southern style BBQ business out of our house. He recently decided to branch into catering and has certainly had his share of humble pie.

He has always enjoyed cooking and got into smoking meat a few years ago. He then thought, there aren’t many people doing southern style BBQ in our area, let alone Canada. He did his due diligence, and we opened our doors for business in May.

Last night I helped him serve pulled pork sliders at a local charity event. We donated the sandwiches in return for a bit of free advertising. Needless to say they were a huge hit here in beef country, and many people were surprised to find out we were a local company and they hadn’t heard of us.

It was so humbling for both of us to see how appreciative the community was towards our BBQ. I was so proud of my husband, and so happy to see and share the success of this experience.

Here’s to great food and some humble pie.